Cheri's Alternative View of Las Vegas Events......

Well, I just put Alora back on a plane to San Jose and I have to say I had a wonderful, but a very different weekend then with Joanne.

First, my darling friend is psychic and also teaches seminars on the Laws of Attraction.

I was complaining to her that although I loved, loved, loved my new space, that there were ALOT of noises in the house. I mostly attributed it to the atrium in the middle of the house was let me hear people slamming doors and banging things from a couple of houses down and made them seem like they were in my place. I said, " When you get here, I sure could use some help clearing the space." She said, "Ok." That night I slept soundly, not hearing any noises and padded around my place the next morning and felt (for the first time) calm and peaceful and like I was finally settling in and really enjoying my space.

So I picked Alora up, we had sandwiches and I (not being shy) asked when the clearing might happen. "Oh," she answered. "I already did it last night. You had an older man, who was not necessarily in your space, but around, looking for his wife. He crossed over and now that's ok." We did some other things, set intentions for the house, and filled it with love and Wow! the place feels so good now. Oh, by the way, this gated community used to be a retirement community, and Alora didn't know that and I didn't actually offer that information even after she cleared the space.

So that was done (hands clapping together). Job well done....What next? Well we went to the MGM Grand and saw the Lions in the Lion habitat. They were amazing. There were two lions in the space; a male and and female. The Male was gorgeous and lazy as he sat at the top of the enclosure and chewed on bones. The female was feisty and played with giant dog toys the four trainers in the space threw to her.

Alora informed me the females did all the work and hunted and brought back food. The male eats first, then she does and the rest go to the cubs. The male's job is basically to be the stud....Oh and occasionally protect the family.....hmmm....He could at least get a part time job....or put the cubs to bed....Right?

Next we walked to the Bellagio and watched the gorgeous fountain as it danced to "All That Jazz" from Chicago (It was the Catherine Zeta-Jones version for those of you who care). I actually cried, it was really cool to see it that close. I didn't think I'd have such an emotional reaction...Then I wanted red wine and chocolate, so maybe it's a symptom of something else...

Then we walked (boy, our feet were tired) to the MGM Mirage (which looked like it was only a block away, but it was more like a mile) because we wanted to go into their wild life preserve, but as soon as I walked in my shoe broke, so I borrowed a paper clip and MacGyver'd it. So we didn't go in and walked 19 miles back to the car (at the Bellagio) went home...and collapsed eating pizza and watched "Twilight." Teenage Vampire Angst....Oy!

Sunday we basically, slept in, laid around and enjoyed each other's company. Then! Then! we went to the Excalibur! Oh yes it is older and not as sophisticated as the new casinos, but my inner child leaps with joy at the site of the castle.

First, we went to three 4-D Movies in the kid's arcade area: Sponge Bob, Log Ride and Dinosaurs! We wore our 3-D glasses and the seats moved and water shot out at us...My favorite was Sponge Bob, who was chasing a runaway pickle for his hamburger.

Then, since Alora was a renaissance junkie and loves Ren faires, so we decided to go the the "TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS!!!" Yes, you heard me we went and sat in an arena and ate with our hands and watched jousting and it was FUN!

We had great seats and were in seated in "Russia" meaning we had to cheer for the Russian King. we were served "Dragon Soup" (which is Cambell's tomato soup with some herbs) a Cornish game hen, french fries, broccoli and soft drink of your choice.

Now you really have to just let go and have fun. The people around us that were too cool to "Hazzah", toast, yell and scream for their king were pussies! You have to interact and participate to have to fully enjoy the experience. Drinking helps, but I had Pepsi, so I was hopped up on caffeine and sugar (almost the same result as alcohol).

Now all the kings (Russia(our hero), Norway (totally hot, looked like a real version of the prince from "Beauty and the Beast"), France, Austria (had bride of Frankenstein hair), Ireland, Spain, Scotland and some others) looked like they were borrowed from the "Thunder from Down Under" show (basically male strippers from Australia also at the Excalibur).

We also had some well-built servants in just tights and cod-pieces....and yes, this is a family show...oh and some hand maidens (whatever).

The premise is that King Arthur (who looks like the real version of the "Burger King" king) is getting together with his son, Prince Christopher and the knights of the round table (the kings from above) for some general sword fighting and jousting fun (perhaps just like one of your family gatherings).

Meanwhile a guy that looks eerily like Peter Criss from "Kiss" and his son (Played by Marilyn Manson) decide they want to destroy the King and the Knights.

So I won't tell anymore, but Peter and Marilyn get their asses kicked and Arthur dies, nobody mourns him and they have a coronation for Christopher with really great acrobats! Oh, I just told you the outcome...sorry....

We laughed and cheered and the horsemanship was good and the fighting was fun and their was lots of pyrotechnics....I recommend it! But I do recommend a couple of stiff drinks!

Then we went over to TI (or Treasure Island for the not so "up on things") to see the Sirens of TI show in front of the Casino....Well again, I believe these were borrowed Chippendale Dancers and Victoria Secret Lingerie models in a battle of the sexes. The sirens (VSLM = Victoria Secret Lingerie models) were calling to the Pirates (Chippendale Dancers) to come on their ship. I was a little disappointed that the sirens weren't more "snappy" with their choreography. I had a picture in my head that they all would look and dance like Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls...Oh well.

So, on with the story. The Pirates wouldn't fall for the Siren's shenanigans, so they fired big cannons at them (a little phallic, don't you think). Then the women laughed and scorned them (like VSLM do) and would dance and sing a song (like the Pussycat dolls), then the men would fire the cannons and the women would...Yes, I think you know what happens next....The sirens, sink the pirate ship with their voices (I don't think that's neccesarily a good thing) and the pirates swim over to the sirens ship and they all sing and dance together.

Then the Pirate Captain and the Lead Siren go upstairs to "get busy" I think that means they signed some contracts so the sirens wouldn't get sued for sinking the pirate ship. Then they danced some more and a siren hung from a giant chandelier that magically appeared from the boat.

That's at least how I remember it.

C

Next Adventure: Julie LaScala comes in on Thursday!